I hate everything.

I used to really love technology. And I guess I still do, but I hate what a lot of tech, especially software, has become. It used to be either an app was free or it wasn’t. Usually the free stuff came with some other way to monetize itself (remember the bars that used to be forced on you when you downloaded a Windows app?) The paid stuff, you paid for and that was it. Maybe legally you didn’t own it (EULAs were a bitch even back then), but you didn’t really have to worry about too much since you had a honest-to-God-CD you could use to re-install with if something fucked up.

Back in August, I took part in Blaugust along with a large community of bloggers. The idea is to write every day during the month of August. It was wonderful.

Perhaps the best part of that experience wasn’t the writing, but the discovery of so many new blogs to read. I wrote about the upsides and downsides of that here. At that point I had over 4000 unread blog posts to read. Obviously since then, many (many) more have been added to that list. After all, just because blaugust is over, doesn’t mean people stopped blogging.

I have a thing for notebooks. I have way too many blank notebooks. I’m steadily filling them up, but I have enough to last me for… a while. But there’s always more to look at when it comes to stationary and notebooks. I’ve gotten into the fountain pen hobby, so now I’m on the lookout for some pocket sized notebooks that work well with fountain pens. Preferably ones that lie flat.

Blog rolls are important. I have one. If you consider yourself a part of the “IndieWeb,” you should have one too. Because the IndieWeb dies without people spreading the word.

The thing is, Google sucks donkey balls, and not the good kind. You can’t go search for my blog here unless you know it exists or you know my name, which is probably not something normal people know. Other search engines exist, but again, you have to know what to search for. I don’t have one topic on this blog that people could search for, as I write about anything that catches my fancy. I get maybe 30 clicks from Google each month, and I’m shocked that it is that high.

I’ve been gainfully employed every single minute of my life since I was 15 years old. For the record, that was 25 years ago. I started out bagging groceries, and then moved to making pizza, and then to another grocery store, and finally to a historical magazine.

Now, I’m unemployed. I was pretty fine with it when it happened. Well, not fine. I thought I was prepared for it. I thought I knew what was coming. I would apply for new gigs, and I’d put serious effort into my two YouTube channels and my two blogs.

After my lukewarm experience with Mistborn I didn’t really think I’d ever go back to Brandon Sanderson. But Tress of the Emerald Sea was really good, so I decided to get back out of The Cosmere, and go back to Sanderson’s Special Projects, this time with The Frugal Wizard’s Handbook for Surviving Medieval England.

This book is much more science fiction than fantasy, which is a good thing, I think. It is so different from Mistborn, that I didn’t feel any lingering bad thoughts about the author that I might have if it had more similarities. Overall, I really liked this book. It is unlike any other book I’ve ever read, and it is phenomenally easy to read. It does what Tress did: it makes the entire book digestable and enjoyable without having to read a 1,000 page monster book.

I’m not calling these resolutions. Resolutions never work, they never stick. These are goals. They say that to reach towards the stars, you must first extend your hand. This is me doing just that.

• Lose 150 Pounds - Ambitious, for sure, but it can and will be done. This is the year Matt gets less fat.
• Get to 100k subscribers on YouTube for TLC - setting a goal for something you have no control over is not a good idea, but I’m doing it anyway.
• Get to 10k subscribers on Historic Alley - This will only be possible if I get my ass in gear and make content for this channel.
• Double viewership on TLC - This is probably the hardest goal on this list.
• Save $10,000 - Ambitious, considering the whole “no job yet” situation going on right now.
• Walk at least 3000 steps each day - I know it’s not a lot given that they say 10k should be your goal, but baby steps. Literally.
• Listen to 100 new-to-me artists - I want to broaden my music horizons.
• Read 50 books - Including rereads, still this is going to double the number of books I read in 2025. We’ll see how this goes.
• Get into the habit of going to bed earlier, and getting up earlier.
• Journal and Daily Note myself every day.
• Low Spend 2026 - Spend less money. Surely I can’t spend more. ffs.
• Blog 4 times each week on average.
• Stream on TLC at least once a month.
• Play 1 video game each week - I bought all these damn things, I’m going to play them all at least once.
• Learn 1 new programming language that I don’t already know. Get better at Rust.
• Record 3 new videos each week.
• Get out of the house more starting in the spring. - It’s waiting until then because I’m quite sick of winter.

I think that is all pretty ambitious. I’ll use this post at the end of the year to see how I did.

The last day of the year is here, so it’s time to look back.

Work

I lost my job this year. I knew it was coming for most of this year, but it has been surprisingly painful. It took a while to sink in, but it has definitely affected my mental health more than I thought it would. I thought I was prepared. But I wasn’t.

I do have an interview in January, and I’ve had a couple call-backs. I’m a bit hopeful, but we’ll see. The interview is for a job I’m 100% sure I’m not qualified for. I only got the interview because I know people who work there.

I like to read. I like to listen to music. I like to watch other people build stuff and make cool things. I have a lot of likes. I think that’s true of everyone. The question I’ve been asking myself recently, however, is what am I passionate about?

This feels like the wrong time to ask myself “What do you want to be when you grow up?” But that is essentially the question. 40 years old, and now it feels like I have no direction. I’m looking for new jobs, and I’ll be happy with whatever I can get, but will I be passionate about it?