I like to read. I like to listen to music. I like to watch other people build stuff and make cool things. I have a lot of likes. I think that’s true of everyone. The question I’ve been asking myself recently, however, is what am I passionate about?

This feels like the wrong time to ask myself “What do you want to be when you grow up?” But that is essentially the question. 40 years old, and now it feels like I have no direction. I’m looking for new jobs, and I’ll be happy with whatever I can get, but will I be passionate about it?

I doubt it.

I am passionate about Linux, and I’m developing some passion for developing open source software, but I’m not sure I’m passionate enough about content creation to actually make YouTube my full time gig. I like it being my hobby, there’s no pressure. I can take a week or two off, and it won’t be a big deal. If I made it my actual job, I don’t think I’d be very happy.

I think what all this thinking comes down to is that I need some new hobbies. I talked about buying a guitar, but I didn’t ever learn to play. I’ve thought about a few other instruments as well. I loved making music back in high school, and I think I’d enjoy it again in my 40s. Maybe that will be something I can do. I would also like to join an actual in person book club. That’s something I’ll look into once spring rolls around.

My point is, that I’m going to have to work on being passionate about more than what I was before. I feel like I need to branch out. I’ve talked about that a few times before, but nothing has ever really come of it. Will this time be different? I don’t know. But the feeling remains.