I’m a writer by trade. I don’t think I’m HG Wells or Arthur Conan Doyle or anything, nor do I proclaim to have perfect grammar or spelling. But I can thread a few words together and have them sound at least somewhat coherent for those reading.

I’m also a reader. I read a ton, and I always have. I was reading “chapter books” when I was 5 years old. Mostly because I wanted big books since those were more impressive than the picture books my friends were reading. I was reading Tom Clancy, John Grisham, and Stephen King in 5th grade. Maybe not the best thing for a kid, but I liked them and spent a lot of time in the library.

I tell you all of this so I can at least feel like I have the right to complain about other people’s writing. I have pet peeves. I’m kind of picky when it comes to reading, if I’m honest. I’ll throw a book down if I find it has been poorly edited or the author does something silly. I’m a little more lenient when it comes to fanfiction, since most of those aren’t professionally edited or even professionally written. But I will still stop reading if the writing gets too much on my nerves.

So, here are a few of my pet peeves.

Over use of the Exclamation Point!⌗

If every sentence has an exclamation point at the end, then the mark has no meaning! I don’t care that your character really meant what he said! I don’t care if you want to emphasize your point! I don’t care!

For fuck’s sake. Use this mark sparingly, or better yet, don’t use it at all. It’s lazy writing, because it shows that you can’t use your words. Your words should be able to express the feelings you’re trying to get across. A singular exclamation point can add some emphasis, but adding in a bunch of them just makes it feel like you can’t actually write what you’re trying to express, so you want to have your punctuation do it for you.

Wink Wink Wink⌗

Do these characters have something in their eye? And maybe it’s the lonely nerd in me, but is winking really that sexy? And is it sexy if the character does it over and over and over again?

Writers tend to think that one character winking at another is somehow the sauciest thing they can do. I think it’s lame, and also unrealistic. Really, think about it: when was the last time you winked at someone? My guess is it was a long while ago if you’ve ever done it.

Or maybe I’m wrong, and the reason why I’m a sad lonely nerd is that I should have been winking at all the girls. Nah, that shit sounds creepy af.

Chuckles⌗

What the fuck is a chuckle? Nobody knows, but writers sure use that word a lot. I know that they’ve done so because they’re looking for another word for laugh, but jeez, it is entirely over used. A giggle at least is something we can all identify. A chuckle is just a laugh. Or I think it is. I’ve never heard anyone chuckle.

Using this once or twice in a chapter is fine, I can stomach it, but most authors use this constantly when they are writing dialogue. Like they can’t figure out what other word to use when their character is expressing amusement. A thesaurus would come in handy, I’m sure.

Cliff Hangers⌗

I am as guilty of using a cliff hanger as any other writer, but I hate them. In my writing, I will only ever use one when the next chapter is already written simply because I want to know what happens next. And that is with my own writing. Finding a cliffy in someone else’s writing bugs the crap out of me. Again, this is only because some authors think they have to end every single chapter with a cliff hanger. Do it once, and it’s fine. Do it all the damn time and I actually don’t care what happens next.

What are your pet peeves when it comes to reading? Let me know in the comments below, or you can find me on the Fediverse or email me.