Normally, it takes until about the middle of February for me to get sick of Winter. Usually, in mid-December we still see some 40 degree days. Almost never are we under 20 degrees. This year, we’ve seen -8 Degrees (these are all in Fahrenheit). More than once. It has been effin’ cold. And we have a ton of snow on the ground. In some places near me, we’ve already had 50 inches of snow, which is damn near unheard of here in the lower peninsula. The UP, sure. Those backwoods mofos are used to this kind of shit. Down here, we’re basically Florida.

I was really kind of fine until I fell the other day. I’ve always had a bit of PTSD when it comes to falling down. I’m a big guy with very bad knees. When I fall, it’s never a good thing. I managed to get up this time, but it was pretty hard on me. Laying there in the snow for half an hour while I tried to figure out how to get up without blowing out a knee was not fun. Doing it in 0 degree weather, was even less fun.

I’m done with winter. Sadly, we still have at least four months of this shit. I’m already a hermit, and it is always worse in the winter, but this is going to be a shut in winter for me. I doubt I manage to get over my nerves unless the snow goes away. I was pretty lucky this time, I can still walk around, I’m not in a ton of pain, and nothing is broken. It could have been a lot worse. I don’t think I get that lucky again. Now I probably won’t fall again, at least not in the same way, but my brain says I’m not going to risk it.

I don’t think smaller people, healthier people, know what it’s like. The PTSD thing wasn’t a joke earlier. I have serious aversion to falling, and it causes me stress. It leads to an avoidance to circumstances that might lead to a fall, even if falling again that way is unlikely. People will say “well, you need to be more careful.” Thank you, I had no clue.

I’ll get over it, once I’ve managed to get in the truck I fell out of. I’ll figure that out, but probably not until the snow and ice goes away. Until then, I’ll embrace my hermit lifestyle, and do my best.