I don’t talk about my health much. My mental health, sure. I’m a shrink’s best customer. You know, if I’d ever go to a shrink. But my actual physical health? I stay away from that as much as possible. It’s private. And while I am an oversharer, in this area, I’ve tried not to be.

But it’s time for me to talk about this, even if only a little.

I’m a big guy. That line always makes me laugh. It reminds me of a joke. I’m not sure who said it, but I think it might be Dennis Leary. He was making fun of people who claimed to be “big boned”, and he said, “no, you’re fat assed.” That always made me giggle.

(Secret? Fat people enjoy fat jokes more than you’d think)

Anyway, I’ve always been a big guy. I’ve always struggled with it. I’ve lost a lot a few times, but the bad habits always come back. And I’m not like some other people who suffer through this, where they have some horrible trauma that has caused them to overeat. My childhood was great.

But, still, my weight has always been an issue. It has gotten a lot worse since I started working from home. I no longer have the need to get up and go to work. I sit on my ass every day for 12-18 hours. Add on that my knees are horrendous, and moving around has gotten progressively harder these last 10 years.

I love food. I don’t think I’m addicted to it, but that is wrong. I do have some addiction to food. I often eat when I don’t need to. I have my vices to be sure. Pizza being the biggest of them. I love Pizza more than any sane person should, I always have.

Back in Uni, There were days where pizza was the meal three times a day. How I came up with the money, I don’t remember. But Cottage Inn really knew my dorm room.

The thing is though, it has to stop. Not just pizza, but everything. I need to be healthier. My knees are getting worse by the minute, to the point that some days walking is unbearable. It’s not going to get better until I can have knee replacement, and that can’t happen until I lose weight.

For a big guy, I’m actually in pretty good shape otherwise. I don’t have any signs of diabetes or heart disease. My cholesterol is better than my doctor’s (his words, not mine). I think this otherwise general good health has made it easier for me to excuse sticking to the status quo.

But the damn knees can’t be ignored anymore. So, it’s time for a change. It’s not a diet. Those don’t work. I don’t care who claims they have the best diet plan ever, it doesn’t work. Instead, the root cause has to be changed. And the root cause is mostly habit. I am a habitual eater. I am in the habit of eating too much and too often. I’ve known this for years. I’ve just never had the will power to change it for longer than a few months.

This time, I’m already doing better. I’ve been tracking calories for months. Being honest with that has been really hard. Because it is so easy to say “it’s only a few calories, it won’t make a difference,” but when you skip one thing, you skip many things. And then the count is worthless. I’ve done better for a while now. I’ve also started to seriously reign in the portions. I’m not going to cut things out. I’m sorry, but if I can’t have pizza or a peanut butter sandwich or whatever, I don’t want to live. Skinny people can have those things, and I want to be skinny people. Or skinnier people, at least. I just need to learn to eat like them.

It has been and will continue to be hard. I think that I’m going to be a little more public about it here on this blog in an attempt to keep me honest.

I’m not going to do public weigh ins or anything like that. If, no when, I lose all the weight I want to lose, I’ll share the numbers. For now, those are for me. I will say that I’ve been going for a bit now, and it has been going well. Better than it has before. So, it’s a start.

Anyway, this was the hardest blog post I’ve ever written.

This was day 16 of Blaugust 2025