Let’s be clear. I’m a near 40-year-old straight male. I’m not one to go out and read a bodice ripper, nor would I want to. Not really my type of book. No shame, if that’s your type of thing, but it’s not for me. That being said, I like romance. My normal fare would be called “fantasy romance” or (and I hate this term) “romantasy”.
Really, my favorites are the stories that are an even bit of romance and fantasy (or Sci-fi). Romance, for me, adds another dimension to the story. Without it, a story is flat and lacks humanity. Now, that’s not to say there aren’t good books out there without romance added in. But those are usually good because they focus on friendship or platonic relationships. No book is good without at least that much.
The problem is that every time I write about a book that is either romance forward or has just a mention of romance in the description, I get shit. I’m a guy, how could I possibly be so soft as to like romance? Personally, most guys I’ve talked to, who are also readers, get it. It’s usually the dudes who are insecure about their masculinity that have the biggest problem with other guys liking stories about love and emotion.
Probably will lose my man card for saying that, but it’s true.
“Real men don’t like mush romance bullshit.” Spare me your toxic egocentric idiocy, please. All men are not the same, nor should we be. Liking romance doesn’t make me soft or less of a man. Seriously, what type of moron thinks that? The shallow type, I’m telling you that much.
And this isn’t even about the smut. Yes, a lot of spicy stuff can be found in the pages of the books I read. I don’t really seek that out, I just want a good fantasy where I can expect some actual human interaction and relationship growth. It’s really that simple. Romance spurs growth between the characters, and I eat that shit up. Without it, I find that it’s a lot harder for an author to express character growth.
I’ve written about this before, or at least mentioned it here, but I prefer books that are more character centric. A book’s plot can be subpar if the characters catch my interest, and I’ll probably at least enjoy part of the story. Conversely, a plot can be the best I’ve ever seen, and I still wouldn’t care about it if the characters were flat and uninteresting. Romance tends to make this an easier proposition for most authors, and that makes the book easier for me to get into. It’s really not rocket science or anything about what makes a man a manly man.
Take Mistborn for example. Yes, I ended up not liking the first book, but Vin’s attraction and easy interaction (and later actual love) of Elend improves the book. Without that little bit of humanity, the book would have actually been way worse, which seems hard to imagine.
So, yes. I like romance. I’m not particularly ashamed of it. I enjoy reading harem romance books, usually with fantasy elements. I troll the Romance for Men Subreddit for TBR ideas. It doesn’t emasculate me or any nonsense like that. If you think it does, well, you’re wrong. Now, excuse me, I have some more smut to read.
